An Ode To My Elderly Friends: My Years In A Nursing Home.

Today, after 3 1/2 years, I decided to accept a job offer.

It was a completely bittersweet moment.

I applied for the job Tuesday, interviewed Wednesday and was offered the job Thursday.

Although I am grateful for the opportunity to further my career, I realized that I have one more week with the people that I have learned to have a mass amount of love for. I know it sounds kind of lame, but I relate more to a 75 year old woman than I do to women my own age. I kid you not, I sat in a room with a patient for at least a half hour talking about crochet stitches and I was pumped to go home and start a new blanket. 

I just love old people, they're freaking great.

To be honest, I used to be very uncomfortable and even afraid of old people.

I believed the stereotypes that all Golden Oldies smelled like arthritis cream and had zero filters.

The filter part is 100% true, the menthol, not as prominent as one may think.

The main thing that I've learned is that, more than anything, the elderly just want to be listened to. They want to be heard.

A majority of them have no or limited family and they're now alone.

Many of our patients don't have any visitors at all and it completely breaks your heart.

You learn to love them and their quirks and you wonder how a family member could possibly just abandon their loved one and not even think twice about it. Their lives are so precious and I honestly feel ashamed for their families. 

I've often tried to put myself in their position. I try to think about if I had to put my dad in a nursing home. I attempt to somehow justify their actions, but in the end, I can't. The amount of love that I have for my dad would mean I would be there every day. Simply taking advantage of the time we had left. You not only realize how fortunate you are to have a healthy life, but I've learned to cherish the small and sometimes insignificant moments I have with those I love.

Working here taught me about love.

One of my favorite patients, I'll never forget was named Tom who was in his late 90's and he was from Brooklyn. He had a super thick accent and always had his cute little red walker. I would come in on Fridays at 7 and we would sit for a half hour or so, drinking coffee and reading the paper together with his arm around me. (He always was such a cheeky little thing.) He was a talker, boy was he a chatty little thing. I recall one time after I had experienced a hard breakup, he decided to tell me about his late wife.  They met in New York when she was 16, and he described her as, "The most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on. There was a glow around her, ya know? Like the angels themselves flew around her as she walked." He was 18 and in the service at the time. Her father wouldn't let her get married so he told me, "for two years I went to see her every week without fail. I had to take a locomotive, two different subway routes and a street car just to see her. So kid, listen up, if a man won't put in the effort to drive 10 minutes to see you, thats not the kind of man you want to be with." They were married when she turned 18 and were married for nearly 65 years. His wife had passed almost 20 years before he did and I asked him if he had ever considered getting re-married. He stayed silent for quite some time and just looked at me, appalled and replied, "I could never. That was my sweetheart." At that moment, my cynical heart grew like the Grinch's did. If that wasn't love than I don't know what was. My dear sweet friend died two days before Valentine's Day, just in time to be with his sweetheart. Im so grateful for his example in my life and the lessons he taught me. When I die, I sincerely hope that he's one of the people who meets me at the pearly gates. I love him that much.

I don't know if you know this, but old man jokes are 10 times funnier than dad jokes. It's a real thing.

One day one of our patients was doing his daily physical therapy, walking around the building. You could tell he was pretty unstable but trying his best. Slowly he reached the front desk and I encouraged him and asked him how he was doing that morning. Without skipping a beat he said, "I'm so excited, I can barely stand it." Then he just waited there with this huge opened mouth grin with his big, bushy eyebrows raised as high as they could go. Where do they come up with this crap?!

Another thing that I've learned that wherever their filter went, their shame quickly followed.

I can't tell you how many times I've been called blondie or slim.

"Hey Blondie, how about you walk on over here and climb on my lap and well go for a little wheelchair ride." (True story)

They'll spank you or grab your butt like it ain't no thang. I guess they just get their kicks where they can.

I'm dreading going into work tomorrow. I've already told my co-workers but tomorrow I have to break it to my patients what I'm leaving. There are only a few of them left (as horrible as it may sound) that I have close relationships with. It had gotten to the point where I broke down emotionally because my buddies kept dying on me. Sometimes you forget that comes with the territory. About a year ago I stopped getting as close to my patients because It was so hard for me to get attached, just to lose them a few months later. I just hope that I was able to bring them some joy in their last months on earth. With that being, said I hope that they were able to feel the love that I had for them and also the difference they made in my life.

Working at Sea Cliff has hands down made me a better person and essentially saved my life.

This job sort of just fell into my lap. I had recently gotten divorced and I was trying to get back on my feet. I was in one of the deepest depressions I've ever experienced and suicide seemed to be my only choice. With time, I learned that I had so much to be thankful for. I had a greater appreciation for my life.  I gained a second family in my co-workers. I learned to love myself through the service of others. Most importantly, I learned to love a population of people who are often forgotten and under appreciated. I have learned so much from just daily conversation. If you take the time to listen, the elderly have a wealth of knowledge and an immense amount of sage advice. They're just big balls of experience and wisdom. I will forever be grateful for the time I had with them and the opportunities for life lessons. I will cherish the past 3 and a half years for the rest of my life and it's a time I will hold very close to my heart.

 Be kind to our elderly friends. Show them respect, but most of all, show them love.

Cheers.